50 Best Things in Pinoy (Reminiscing ... Part 1 of 2)

FROM the 1896 Revolution to the first Philippine Republic, the Commonwealth period, the EDSA Revolt, and the tiger cub economy... history marches on.

Thankfully, however, some things never change. Like the classics, things irresistibly Pinoy or Filipino mark us for life. They’re the indelible stamp of our identity, the undeniable affinity that binds us like twins.

These things celebrate the good in us, the best of our culture and the infinite possibilities we are all capable of. Some are so self-explanatory you only need mention them for fellow Filipinos or Pinoys to swoon or drool.

Here, from all over this crazed country (but beloved nation for patriotic Pinoys like us) and in no particular order, are fifty (50) best things that make us unmistakably Pinoy.

1. Merienda. Where else is it normal to eat snack five times a day?
2. Sawsawan. Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo’t calamansi, suka at sili, patis.
3. Kuwan, ano. At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what do you want or mean.
4. Pinoy humor and irreverence. If you’re desperate or unlucky and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.
5. Tingi. Thank goodness for retails of small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life’s essentials in small affordable amounts?

6. Spirituality. Even before the Spaniards came, our ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.
7. Po, opo, mano po. Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect–a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.
8. Pasalubong. Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop for presents without the customary guilt.
9. Beaches! With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan–over here, life is truly a beach.
10. Bagoong. Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.

11. Bayanihan. Yes, the internationally-renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching in still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.
12. Balikbayan box. Another way of sharing life’s bounty, no matter if it seems like we’re fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.
13. Pilipino komiks. Not to mention “Hiwaga,” “Aliwan,” “Tagalog Classics,” “Liwayway” and”Bulaklak” magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel and Captain Barbel characters of a time both innocent and worldly.
14. Folk songs. They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.
15. Fiesta. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It’s a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.

16. Aswang, manananggal, kapre. The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.
17. Jeepneys. Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman’s communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver’s a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.
18. Dinuguan. Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mined with chilis and peppers. Messy but delicious.
19. Santacruzan. More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena’s and Constantine ’s search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it’s the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies–and the most beautiful gowns.
20. Balut. Unhatched duck’s embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.

21. Pakidala. A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don’t trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.
22. Choc-nut. Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M’s and Hershey’s.
23. Kamayan style. To eat with one’s hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners–ah, heaven.
24. Chicharon. Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.
25. Pinoy hospitality. Just about everyone gets a hearty “Kain tayo!” invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.

26. Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff. Home-cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.
27. Lola Basyang. The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.
28. Pambahay. Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.
29. Tricycle and trisikad, the poor Pinoy’s taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as five (5) pesos, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.
30. Dirty ice cream. Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there’s the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.

31. Yayas. The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent–if you don’t mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.
32. Sarsi. Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.
33. Pinoy fruits. Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico , papaya, singkamas – the possibilities!
34. Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: Erap, Cory Aquino, Fidel V. Ramos, GMA, Sharon Cuneta, Vilma Santos, Tiya Dely, Mel and Joey, Pops and Martin, Gary V., etc.
35. World class Pinoys who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Manny Pacquiao, Charice Pempengco, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren “Bata” Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori.

36. Pinoy tastes. A dietitian’s nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we’re the guys who put sugar in our spaghetti sauce. Yum!
37. The sights. Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol’s Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pinas Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.
38. Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.
39. Barangay Ginebra. Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball. How the verticaly-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.
40. People Power. When everyone became a hero at EDSA and changed Philippine history overnight.

41. San Miguel Beer. Best with pulutan. “Isa pa nga!” and the Philippines’ most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol-rich chasers.
42. Resiliency. We’ve survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada and Tamagochi. We’ll survive GMA.
43. Yoyo. Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to “walk the dog” and “rock the baby,” using just a piece of string.
44. Pinoy Games: Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.
45. Ninoy Aquino. For saying that “the Filipino is worth dying for,'’ and proving it.

46. Balagtasan. The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage.
47. Tabo. All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically-triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket and help the true Pinoy answer nature’s call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.
48. Pandesal. Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.
49. Jollibee. Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it has invaded the Middle East, as well?
50. The Butandings, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters. They’re Pinoys, too, and they’re here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing (dried fish).

Acknowledgement: E-mails from friends / Internet jokes
Post # 31

50 Funny Signs and Spoofs - Pinoy Style

The Filipinos’ propensity for spoofs of popular signs shows no sign of abating. Pinoy humor, even in the most difficult situations always worms its way, and usually ends up softening the impact of what could otherwise be a bad situation.

That is typically Filipino. After all, we are not known as one of the happiest people in the world for nothing. Why do Filipinos thrive despite the adversities? Read on some of the business signs found throughout the Philippines and you’ll see why.

1. BEAUTY PARLOR in San Juan City: “CUT & FACE”
2. WHOLESALER of DUCK EGGS (balot) in Batangas: “STARDUCKS”
3. FAST FOOD eatery in Nueva Ecija: “VIOLYBEE”
4. INTERNET CAFÉ among squatters area in Tondo: “CAFÉ PINDOT” (due excessive touch)
5. LAUNDRY SHOP in University Belt, Manila: “SUMMA CUM LAUNDRY”
6. PETSHOP in Ortigas: “PUSSIES AND BITCHES”
7. PETSHOP in Kamuning: “PAKITA MO PET MO” (Show MeYour Pet)
8. BAKERY in Quezon City: “BREAD PIT”
9. BANK in Alabang, Muntinlupa: “ALABANK”
10. RESTAURANT in Pampanga: “MEKENI ROGERS”
11. RESTAURANT in Marikina City: “JOHNNY’S FRIED CHICKEN: PRIDE OF MARIKINA”
12. BOXING GYM in Pasay City: “BLOW JAB”
13. TOMBSTONE MAKER in Antipolo City: “LITO LAPIDA” (sounds like the Pinoy Senator / Action Star)
14. COPY CENTER in Sikatuna Village: “PAKOPYA NI EDGAR” (sounds like the Pinoy musical band)
15. BEERHOUSE in Cavite: CHICK POINT”
16. LAUNDROMAT in Sikatuna: “STAR WASH: ATTACK OF THE CLOTHES”
17. INTERNET CAFÉ in Taguig: "n@kopi@"
18. BEAUTY SALON in Manila: “CURL UP AND DYE”
19. GOTO (rice meal) eatery in Bulacan: “GEE CONGEE”
20. WATER REFILLING STATION in Dapitan: “WA-THIRST” (No Thirst)
21. CHICKEN FEEDS Store in Bulacan: “ROBOCOCK”
22. SHOE REPAIR shop in Marikina: “DR. SHOE BAGO”
23. SHOE REPAIR store in Commonwealth: “SHOEPERMAN: we will HEAL you, save your SOLE, and even DYE for you!”
24. PET SHOP in Caloocan City: “PETNESS FIRST”
25. FLOWER SHOP in Quezon City: “SUSAN’S ROCES”

26. TAXICAB Operator: INCOME TAXI”
27. WATCH STORE selling second-hand items: “2ND TIME AROUND”
28. SQUID (pusit) STALL in wet market: “PUSIT TO THE LIMIT”
29. GAY LAWYER’s extension office: “NOTA REPUBLIC”
30. CARPENTER’s ceiling installer home-office: “KISAME STREET”
31. CAR REPAIR shop: “BANGGA KA DAY?” (Car accident?)
32. AQUATIC PET STORE in Malolos: “FISH BE WITH YOU”
33. BEAUTY SALON in community with lot of OCW families: “SAUDIA HAIRLINES”
34. BAKERY in Metro: “ANAK NG TINAPAY” (Son of the Bread)
35. RESTO eatery along Mayon Road, Manila: “MAY LISA EATERY”
36. LAUNDRY SHOP: “WASH YOUR PROBLEM”
37. ICE CREAM parlor: “DILA LANG ANG KATAPAT!” (Tongue is the match)
38. CHICHARON stall: “CHICHA HUT” (fried pork skin store)
39. PIZZA STORE in neighborhood: “PIZZA HOT”
40. FISHBALL CART near UST: “EAT MY BALLS”
41. BARBERSHOP in Cagayan De Oro: “PINOY BIG BARBER” (not related to Pinoy Big Brother)
42. RESTO eatery: “LAST SUPPER” (hope it's not..)
43. PEANUT VENDOR’s cart: “MANI NI PAPA” (Father’s peanut)
44. GYM owned by gay in Malolos: “GAYMANN FITNESS CENTER”
45. PARTY NEEDS store: “BALLOON-BALLOONAN”
46. CHINESE RESTAURANT in Pasig: “LAH FANG” (sounds Chinese)
47. FRESH CHICKEN store owned by woman named Dina who claims “fresh chickens daily”: “DINA FRESH CHICKEN”
48. BAKESHOP with specialty "monay" bread: “TRIMONAY”
49. BEAUTY SALON beside internet café with same owner: “HAIR DOT COMB”
50. RESTAURANT SIGNAGE: “We are open 25 hrs. a day – no lunch/dinner breaks!”

Acknowledgement: Manila Bulletin
post #30

Stars of the Zoo: The Gorilla and the Lion

Finding himself desperately in need of money, an unemployed man went to the city zoo, hoping to find a job feeding the animals. Although no such opportunity was available, the manager, seeing the size and strength of the applicant, suddenly got an idea.

"You know," he said, "there are a few creatures who attract attention like a gorilla. When the zoo attracts attention from parents who come here with their children, we earn money through the entrance fees they paid."

The manager sighed, "Unfortunately, our gorilla died yesterday. If we get you a special fur suit, would you be willing to imitate the gorilla for a few days?"

The hungry man agreed to try. He was quite successful as he beat his chest, bellowed and shook the bars of the cage - much to the amusement of zoo visitors who said they have never seen a gorilla with such intelligence.

One day, while swinging on his trapeze, he accidentally lost his grip and landed in the lion's den. The huge beast gave a ferocious roar. Backing away, the gorilla impostor realized he couldn't cry for assistance without revealing he was a fake.

He retreated, hoping to crawl back over the fence into his own cage. The lion, however, which continues with a loud roar followed him. Finally, in desperation, he yelled, "Help! help me!"

Immediately, the lion said in an undertone, "Shut up, stupid! You'll get us both fired!"

post #29

The Perfect Partner

Jack Trabajador is an OFW-overseas Filipino worker who has been employed as a construction engineer by reputable engineering companies in the Middle East for the past 20 years. He is in mid-40’s, a womanizer and yet remains a bachelor.

One afternoon, Jack and his Indian friend and fellow engineer were sitting in a café in Manama (Bahrain), drinking brewed coffee and talking about life and love.

“How come you never got married, Jack?” asks his friend at one point. “There are so many Filipina ladies who are single and working in places where you have resided and worked.”

“Well,” said Jack, “to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman for me…”

“In Al-Khobar (Saudi Arabia), I met a beautiful and generous woman – she looks like Francine Prieto - one of the actress in the Philippines. That woman was a head nurse, but she’s so generous that she had many boyfriends.”

“Then in Dubai (United Arab Emirates), I met a pretty lady – she looks like Joyce Jimenez – also another actress in the Philippines. That lady was a wonderful and generous soul – she’s a hotel restaurant manager, but we had no interests in common.”

“One woman after another would seem just right, but, there would always be something missing…”

“Then one day, I met another stunning woman in Doha (Qatar) – she looks like Carlene Aguilar – former beauty queen and now actress in the Philippines. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind – she’s a chemical engineer. We had everything in common. In fact, she was perfect.”

“Well,” said Jack’s Indian friend, “what happened? Why didn’t you marry her?”

Jack sipped his coffee reflectively. “Well,” he replied, “it’s a sad thing. Seems, she was looking for the perfect man!”


pinoy funny ideas - blog #28